Snake

"i kind of love you"

it looks like a snake is hanging in through the window, i can't really tell what i'm looking at

i can't look away from that snake 

can sociopaths love?

the snake is dancing or wiggling, bouncing like a draped slinky and i'm squinting at the dark corner of the room where the moon creeps in a convict

"i love you, i've never said that to anyone before."

the snake is growing it's moving i'm eyeing the door and feeling alarmed i'm not sure what's more real than that snake right now

is this love or the thrill of danger?

if i stay here i might get stuck staring at that snake forever, approach and i might get bit, get poisoned

"i think you're in love with me too"

i choose to get closer to the snake, i walk 

did you just combine love with danger in me or is it always like that?

the thrill is intoxicating i abandon all caution i give myself, i give all feeling to jouissance or maybe to confusion i can't tell the difference anymore

"will you just say it back"

i'm very confused 

fear has vanished, i'm nearing the snake, i can almost see almost touch, my eyes are wide, darting, but i'm smiling

"tell me you love me"

something feels really nice but i can't track the source, i don't know what to say because i don't know what i feel 

the snake winds back bracing its exposed fangs for the kill, it's still so dark here, i still can't see, i need to feel for myself, i reach out to touch it

"if you don't say it back then i don't think i can do this"

"I love you--"

my racing heart stops when my fingers graze not scales but a wall, there's nothing there, there never was, my snake was always a shadow